Raphael Mijares

With broken hearts, we share the loss of Raphael Malcolm Mijares – our beloved son, brother, grandson, nephew, cousin and friend, on November 23, 2025.

Known as Rafa, he had many nicknames over the years: Baby Rafa, Lil Rafa, Faf/Fafa/Fafael, Gordo, Stuart, Ferguson/Fergie, Bird, Kuya, Turtle/Tortuga and more.

Rafa was born on December 24, 1998 at home in a tiny apartment at the UC Village in Berkeley, California. He attended elementary school in El Cerrito until his family moved to Sunnyvale in 2010. At Peterson Middle School, he proudly achieved Honor Roll and especially loved the extraordinary culinary arts program. Though he did not progress beyond high school, Rafa’s intellectual curiosity never waned and his brilliance sparkled even in dark times.

During his early 20’s, Rafa found great meaning and fulfillment serving the unhoused community in Boulder, especially because of the ongoing struggles he faced with mental health, addiction and homelessness. Rafa spent over two years working at shelters and as a Coordinated Entry case worker for the city. Long after leaving that work, he was recognized and appreciated around town by people he helped during that time.

Rafa was a lover of the natural world, music, art, graffiti, travel, cooking and many other things about life. He inspired his family and friends to be present to beautiful sunrises and sunsets. He loved hiking and communing with nature, often spotting hidden wildlife and other treasures. His laugh was contagious, and his smile turned most frowns upside down, even when he was struggling too.

His family and friends will miss him eternally and remember him always. His family acknowledges the complicated impact of Rafa’s life on those who knew and loved him. They encourage taking refuge in each other and the community, seeking professional resources as needed, and finding ways to let Rafa’s memory serve as a blessing in any way it can.

The following is an excerpt from his mother’s offering at the Boulder Morningstar Zen Center funeral service for Rafa on December 4:

“Death can come at any time. Our choices, the agency we have to exercise vigilance over our physical body, is tightly coupled with this birth-to-death timeline. Even a life lived with the utmost care can end in tragedy and heartbreaking timing.

Raphael, like many sentient beings, began walking a path paved with his autonomy long before I, as his mother, would have wanted. But like most everything in life, I do not control and cannot hope to protect forever everything I love. At 15, I started fearing for Raphael in such acute ways that I quickly learned the feeling of losing someone over and over again.

That fear cultivated a separation that became a safe place for me to exist. For a while, until inevitably this connection to my child and flesh was reactivated. After yet another period of estrangement and another dose of palpable fear about his imminent and untimely demise, we powerfully reconciled this summer. It was sweet and impermanent. In that time, I once again felt intimacy in silence, held hands, sang songs, and actively repaired some of what was broken between us.

My son suffered a little bit extra. Mental health and addiction issues consumed his adult life. But that did not stop him from thriving and serving others in the times he did, long stretches that gave me hope about his ability to persevere.

I offer my gratitude for the generosity flowing. The strength I am accessing is undoubtedly beyond me, or what any one of us can do on our own. We are not meant to do this alone. If there are any absolutes, I have been humbled by this one again and again.

May we be held by each other always. May the loneliness and struggles be alleviated by the love we make sure to share. Thank you.”

A celebration of life event is being planned for sunset on April 19, 2026 at Black’s Beach in Santa Cruz, CA – rain or shine. More details will be shared on social media.